Interesting thing change. There is the stuff that happened and then there is how we process what just happened.
This week, I am drawn to a quote by William Bridges, an expert on change, but someone who gets all things project management.
Now Bill surmises:
Change is situational. Transition, on the other hand, is psychological. It is not those events, but rather the inner reorientation or self-redefinition that you have to go through in order to incorporate any of those changes into your life.
Meaning that, in my words, that things happen, change happens, but sometimes it actually just takes a while for our body and head to catch up.
Take for instance the something like GETTING MARRIED.
The question that I have been pondering, is when is the day that it actually feels like I am married. When does this new person emerge? When does this new knowing arrive? There is the commitment, the photos, the decisions, but at some point my psychology needs to shift, catch up and integrate this change within myself.
Or consider, the people who experience the terrible state of SUDDEN LOSS.
Loss of a loved one from a car accident, heart attack or resignation.
The easy, in the moment, stuff happens. Our brains jump into project management mode and we fix stuff, temporarily. We make the arrangements, we sort stuff and we announce what has has happened.
But at what point does our metaphysical body, our head and our hearts catch up with what just happened.
Change generally happens very quickly, while transition usually occurs more slowly.
So here’s the thing, the integration of change can actually take a while as our bodies, our energy and our reality catches up.
The is the interesting bit. We need to give ourselves space to integrate the change, our beliefs and our new reality, because otherwise, as Bill says, ‘we are just simply shifting furniture’.
Breathe. Today and everyday. And, give yourself the space to catch up with what just happened.